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Table of contents
PREFACE
TOUCH-1
TOUCH-2
TOUCH-3 (begin)
TOUCH-3 (end)
TOUCH-4 (begin)
TOUCH-4 (end)
SMELL-1
SMELL-2
SMELL-3.1
SMELL-3.2
SMELL-3.3
SMELL-3.4
SMELL-3.5
SMELL-4 (begin)
SMELL-4 (end)
SMELL-5
HEARING-1
HEARING-2
HEARING-3
VISION-1.1
VISION-1.2
VISION-1.3
VISION-2.1
VISION-2.2
VISION-2.3
VISION-2.4
VISION-3
VISION-4
VISION-5
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B HISTORY-1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.2
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.3
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

indeed, be remarked here that I never knew a woman sexually till 

my marriage; and with the one exception mentioned I do not recall 

any instance of conduct on my part toward a woman which could be 

described as giving her an impulse downhill. 

 

"On the psychic side my sexual emotions awoke in early childhood; 

and though my love affairs as a boy were not frequent and were 

kept to myself, they attained a considerable degree of emotional 

power. Leaving out of account the precocious movements of the 

sexual instinct to which I have already referred as colored by 

psychic algolagnia, I may say that somewhat later, from the age 

of puberty and onward, I had three or four love affairs, devoid 

of any algolagnic tendency, and considerably more developed on 

the psychic and emotional, than on the physical, side. In fact, 

my experience has been that when deeply in love, when the mind is 

full of the love ecstasy, the physical element of sexuality is 

kept--doubtless only temporarily--in abeyance. 

 

"To return now to the subject of masturbation. Here befell the 

chief moral struggle of my early life; and no terms that I have 

at command will adequately describe the stress of it. 

 

"A casual remark heard one day as I was arriving at puberty 

convinced me that there must be truth in the vague schoolboy 

theory that masturbation was _weakening_. It was to the effect 

that the evil results of masturbation practiced in boyhood would 

manifest themselves in later life. I then realized that I must 

relinquish masturbation, and I set myself to fight it; but with 

grave misgivings that, owing to the early age at which I had 

formed the habit, I had already done myself serious harm. 

 

"Before many weeks had passed, I had formed a resolution to 

abstain, which I kept thereafter without--so far as I 

remember--more than one conscious lapse into my former habit. 

Here it must be said at once that, so far as touches my own 

experience of a struggle of this kind, the religious factor is of 

primary importance as strengthening and sustaining the moral 

effort which has to be made. I am writing an account of my 

sexual, not my spiritual, experiences; but I should not only be 

untrue to my convictions, but unable to give an accurate and 

penetrating survey of the development of my sex life, unless I 

were clearly to state that it was to a large extent on that life 

that my strongest and most valuable religious experiences 

arose.[219] It is to the endeavor to discipline the sexual 

instinct, and to grapple with the difficulties and anxieties of 

the sex life, that I owe what I possess of spiritual religion, of 

the consciousness that my life has been brought into contact with 

Divine love and power. 

 

"My early habits, after they were broken off, left me none the 


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