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last place had intercourse with his sister. I thought it
disgusting. About a year later I told the nurse I thought the
story of Adam and Eve was not true and that when Eve gave Adam
the apple he had intercourse with her and she was punished by
having children. I don't know if I had thought this out, or if it
had been suggested to me by others. This nurse used often to talk
about my 'tassel.'
"A family of several brothers went to the same school with me,
and we used to indulge in dirty stories, chiefly, however, of the
w.c. type rather than sexual.
"When I was about 10 I learned much from my father's coachman. He
used to talk about the girls he had had intercourse with, and how
he would have liked this with my nursemaid.
"A year later I went to a large day school. I think most of the
boys, if not nearly all, were very ignorant and innocent in
sexual matters. The only incident in this connection I can
recollect is asking a boy to let me see his penis; he did so.
"During the summer holidays, at a watering place I attended a
theatrical performance and fell in love with a girl of about 12
who acted a part. I bought a photograph of her, which I kept and
kissed for several years after. About the same time I thought
rather tenderly of a girl of my own age whose parents knew mine.
I remember feeling that I should like to kiss her. Once I
furtively touched her hair.
"When I was 12 I was sent to a small preparatory boarding
school, in the country. During the holidays I used to talk about
sexual things with my father's footman. He must have told me a
good deal. I used to have erections. One evening, when I was in
bed and everyone else out (my mother and the children in the
country) he came up to my room and tried to put his hand on my
penis. I had been thinking of sexual matters and had an erection.
I resisted, but he persisted, and when he succeeded in touching
me I gave in. He then proceeded to masturbate me. I sank back,
overcome by the pleasant sensation. He then stopped and I went on
myself. In the meantime he had taken out his penis and
masturbated himself before me until the orgasm occurred. I was
disgusted at the sight of his large organ and the semen. He then
left me. I could hardly sleep from excitement. I felt I had been
initiated into a great and delightful mystery.
"I at once fell into the habit of masturbation. It was some
months before I could produce the orgasm; at about 13 a slight
froth came; at about 14 a little semen. I do not know how
frequently I did it--perhaps once or twice a week. I used to feel
ashamed of myself afterward. I told the man I was doing it and he
expressed surprise I had not known about it before he told me. He
warned me to stop doing it or it would injure my health. I
pretended later that I had stopped doing it.
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