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Table of contents
PREFACE
TOUCH-1
TOUCH-2
TOUCH-3 (begin)
TOUCH-3 (end)
TOUCH-4 (begin)
TOUCH-4 (end)
SMELL-1
SMELL-2
SMELL-3.1
SMELL-3.2
SMELL-3.3
SMELL-3.4
SMELL-3.5
SMELL-4 (begin)
SMELL-4 (end)
SMELL-5
HEARING-1
HEARING-2
HEARING-3
VISION-1.1
VISION-1.2
VISION-1.3
VISION-2.1
VISION-2.2
VISION-2.3
VISION-2.4
VISION-3
VISION-4
VISION-5
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B HISTORY-1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.2
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.3
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

 

"I practiced solitary masturbation for some months. At first the 

semen was small in amount and watery. 

 

"I had not at this time ever succeeded in drawing the foreskin 

below the 'corona.' After masturbation I would sometimes feel 

local pain in the penis, sometimes pains in the testicles, and 

generally a feeling of shame, but not, I think, any lassitude. 

The shame was a vague sense of discomfort at having done what I 

knew others would regard as dirty. I also experienced fears that 

I was injuring my health. 

 

"It was not long before I found other boys at the preparatory 

school with whom I talked of sexual things and in some cases 

proceeded to acts. The boys were between the ages of 9 and 14; 

they left at 14 or 15 for the public schools. We slept in 

bedrooms--several in one room. 

 

"There was no general conversation on sexual matters. Few of the 

boys knew anything about things--perhaps 7 or 8 out of 40. Before 

describing my experiences at the school I may mention that I 

cannot remember having at this period any wish to experience 

heterosexual intercourse; I knew as yet nothing of homosexual 

practices; and I did not have, except in one case, any love or 

affection for any of the boys. 

 

"One night, in my bedroom--there were about six of us--we were 

talking till rather late. My recollection commences with being 

aware that all the boys were asleep except myself and one other, 

P. (the son of a clergyman), who was in a bed at exactly the 

opposite end of the room. I suppose we must have been talking 

about this sort of thing, for I vividly remember having an 

erection, and suddenly--as if by premonition--getting out of my 

bed, and, with heart beating, going softly over to P.'s bed. He 

exhibited no surprise at my presence; a few whispered words took 

place; I placed my hand on his penis, and found he had an 

erection. I started masturbating him, but he said he had just 

finished. I then suggested, getting into bed with him. (I had 

never heard at that time of such a thing being done, the idea 

arose spontaneously.) He said it was not safe, and placed his 

hand on my penis, I think with the object of satisfying and 

getting rid of me. He masturbated me till the orgasm occurred. 

 

"I had no further relations with him, except on one occasion, 

shortly afterward, when one day, in the w.c. he asked me to 

masturbate him. I did so. He did not offer to do the same to me. 

 

"He was a delicate, feeble boy; not good at work; womanish in his 

ways; inclined to go in for petty bullying, until a boy showed 

fight, when he discovered himself to be an arrant coward. Four or 

five years later I met him at the university. His greeting was 

cool. My next affair was with a boy who was about my age (13), 

strong, full-blooded, coarse, always in 'hot water.' He was the 


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