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Table of contents
PREFACE
TOUCH-1
TOUCH-2
TOUCH-3 (begin)
TOUCH-3 (end)
TOUCH-4 (begin)
TOUCH-4 (end)
SMELL-1
SMELL-2
SMELL-3.1
SMELL-3.2
SMELL-3.3
SMELL-3.4
SMELL-3.5
SMELL-4 (begin)
SMELL-4 (end)
SMELL-5
HEARING-1
HEARING-2
HEARING-3
VISION-1.1
VISION-1.2
VISION-1.3
VISION-2.1
VISION-2.2
VISION-2.3
VISION-2.4
VISION-3
VISION-4
VISION-5
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B HISTORY-1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.2
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.3
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

son of the headmaster of one of the best-known public schools. It 

was reported that two brothers had been expelled from this public 

school for what we called 'beastliness.' He told me his older 

brother used to have intercrural intercourse with him. This was 

the first I had heard of this. We used to masturbate mutually. I 

had, however, no affection or desire for him. 

 

"With E., another boy, I had no relations, but I remember him as 

the first person of the same sex for whom I experienced love. He 

was a small, fair, thin, and little boy, some two years younger 

than myself, so my inferior in the social hierarchy of a school. 

 

"At the end of my last term I had two disappointments. I was 

beaten by a younger and clever boy for the first place in the 

school, and also beaten by one point in the competition for the 

Athletic Cup by a stronger boy who had only come to the school 

that very term. However, as a consolation prize, and as I was 

leaving, the headmaster gave me a second prize. This soothed my 

hurt feelings, and I remember, just after the 'head' had read out 

the prizes, on the last day of term, E., coming up to me, putting 

his arm on my shoulder, looking at me rather pensively, and in a 

voice that thrilled me and made me wish to kiss and hug him, tell 

me he was so glad I had got a prize and that it was a shame that 

other chap had beaten me for the cup. 

 

"I was three years (aged 12 to 15) at the preparatory school. I 

started in the bottom form and ended second in the school. My 

reports were generally good, and I was keen to do well in work. I 

was considerably influenced by the 'head.' He was a clergyman, 

but a man of wide reading, broad opinion, great scholarship, and 

great enthusiasm. We became very friendly. 

 

"During the holidays I now first practiced intercrural 

intercourse with a younger brother. I started touching his penis, 

and causing erections, when he was about 5. Afterward I got him 

to masturbate me and I masturbated him; I used to get him into 

bed with me. On one occasion I spontaneously (never having heard 

of such a thing) made him take my penis in his mouth. 

 

"This went on for several years. When I was about 16 and he about 

10, the old family nurse spoke to me about it. She told me he had 

complained of my doing it. I was in great fear that my parents 

might hear of it. I went to him; told him I was sorry, but I had 

not understood he disliked it, but that I would not do it again. 

 

"About a year later (having persisted in this promise) I made 

overtures to him, but he refused. I then commended his conduct, 

and said I knew he was quite right, and begged him to refuse 

again if I should ever suggest it. I did not ever suggest it 

again. For many years I bitterly reproached myself for having 


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