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Table of contents
PREFACE
TOUCH-1
TOUCH-2
TOUCH-3 (begin)
TOUCH-3 (end)
TOUCH-4 (begin)
TOUCH-4 (end)
SMELL-1
SMELL-2
SMELL-3.1
SMELL-3.2
SMELL-3.3
SMELL-3.4
SMELL-3.5
SMELL-4 (begin)
SMELL-4 (end)
SMELL-5
HEARING-1
HEARING-2
HEARING-3
VISION-1.1
VISION-1.2
VISION-1.3
VISION-2.1
VISION-2.2
VISION-2.3
VISION-2.4
VISION-3
VISION-4
VISION-5
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B HISTORY-1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.2
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.3
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

suggested she had just been relieving herself. My housemaster 

told me the picture was terribly indecent, and that, taken with 

what he knew of my habits, it showed I was not a safe boy to be 

in the school. He added that he did not wish to make trouble at 

home, but that he advised me to get my parents to remove me at 

the end of that term, instead of the following term, when, in the 

ordinary course of things, I should have left. 

 

"I wrote to my people to say I was miserable at school, and I was 

removed at the end of that term. 

 

"My first case of true heterosexual passion was with a girl 

called D., whom I first knew when she was about 16. My family and 

hers were friendly. My attraction to her soon became a matter of 

common knowledge and joking to members of my family. She was a 

dark, passionate-looking child, with large eyes that--to 

me--seemed full of an inner knowledge of sexual mysteries. 

Precocious, vain, jealous, untruthful--those were qualities in 

her that I myself soon recognized. But the very fact that she was 

not conventionally 'goody-goody' proved an attraction to me. 

 

"I never openly made love to her, but I delighted to be near her. 

Our ages were sufficiently separated for this to be noticeable. I 

dreamed of her, and my highest ideal of blessedness was to kiss 

her and tell her I loved her. I heard that she had been 

discovered talking indecently in a w.c. to some little boys, sons 

of a friend of my family's. The knowledge of this precocity on 

her part intensified my fascination for her. 

 

"When I left home to return to school I kissed her--the only 

time. Absence did nothing to diminish my affection. I thought of 

her all day long, at work or at play. I wrote her a letter--not 

openly passionate, but my real feelings toward her must have been 

apparent. I found out afterward that her mother opened the 

letter. 

 

"When I returned home for the holidays her mother asked me not; 

to write her any letters and not to pay attentions to her, as I 

might 'spoil her.' I promised. I was, of course, greatly 

distressed. 

 

"D. used to come to our house to see my younger sister. She had 

clearly been warned by her mother not to allow me to speak to 

her. I was too nervous to make any advances; besides, I had 

promised. As I grew older, my passion died out. I have hardly 

ever seen her since. She married some years ago. I still retain 

sentimental feelings toward her. 

 

"I was now 18; I had stopped growing and was fairly broad and 

healthy. Intellectually I was rather precocious, though not 

ambitious. But I was no good at games, had no tastes for physical 

exercises, and no hobbies. 

 

"During the holidays, in my last year at school, I had gone to 

the Royal Aquarium with a school companion. This was followed by 

one or two visits to the Empire Theatre. It was then that I first 


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