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sentiment. In neither case can I be accused of fickleness.
Indeed, I may say that up to this time I had had no opportunity
of being fickle. I never saw enough, or had enough, of a woman to
get a surfeit of her.
"The case I now come to presents the features of the cases of
W.H. and S.H. in a stronger form. I was then 20; I have since
then married; I am a father; my experiences have been many and
varied; but still I must confess that no other woman has ever
stirred my emotions more than--I doubt if as much as--D.C. Up to
date, if there has been any grand passion in my life, it is my
love for her. D.C., when I got to know her--by talking to her in
the street--was a girl of about 20. She was short and plump; dark
hair; dark, mischievous eyes; a fair complexion; small features;
quiet manners, and a sensual _ensemble_. I do not know what her
father was. He was dead, her mother kept a university lodging
house. She spoke and behaved like a lady. She dressed quietly;
was absolutely unmercenary; her intelligence--i.e., her
intellectual calibre--was not great. Her master-passion was one
thing. The first evening I walked out with her she put her hand
down on my penis, before I had even kissed her, and proposed
intercourse. I was surprised, almost embarrassed; she herself led
me to a wall, and standing up made me do it.
"Next day we went away for the day together. I may say she was
_always_ ready and never satisfied. She was sensual rather than
sentimental. She was ready to shower her favors anywhere and to
anyone. My feelings toward her soon became affectionate and
sentimental, and then passionate. I thought of nothing else all
day long; wrote her long letters daily; simply lived to see her.
"I found she was engaged to be married. Her _fiance_, a
schoolmaster, himself used to have intercourse with her, but he
had taken a religious turn and thought it was wicked to do it
until they married. I had intercourse with her on every possible
occasion: in private rooms at hotels, in railway carriages, in a
field, against a wall, and--when the holidays came--she stayed a
night with me in London. She had apparently no fear of getting in
the family way, and never used any precaution. Sensual as she
was, she did not show her feelings by outward demonstration.
"On one occasion she proposed _fellatio_. She said she had done
it to her _fiance_ and liked it. This is the only case I have
known of a woman wishing to do it for the love of it.
"The emotional tension on my nerves--the continual jealousy I was
in, the knowledge that before long she would marry and we must
part--eventually caused me to get ill. She never told me she
loved me more than any other man; yet, owing to my importunity,
she saw much more of me than anyone else. It came to the ears of
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