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Table of contents
PREFACE
TOUCH-1
TOUCH-2
TOUCH-3 (begin)
TOUCH-3 (end)
TOUCH-4 (begin)
TOUCH-4 (end)
SMELL-1
SMELL-2
SMELL-3.1
SMELL-3.2
SMELL-3.3
SMELL-3.4
SMELL-3.5
SMELL-4 (begin)
SMELL-4 (end)
SMELL-5
HEARING-1
HEARING-2
HEARING-3
VISION-1.1
VISION-1.2
VISION-1.3
VISION-2.1
VISION-2.2
VISION-2.3
VISION-2.4
VISION-3
VISION-4
VISION-5
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B HISTORY-1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.2
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.3
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

 

 

 

 

 

"The D.C. affair left me worn out emotionally. I reviewed my life 

of the last four years. It seemed to show much more heartache, 

anxiety, and suffering than pleasure. I concluded that this 

unsatisfactory result was inseparable from the pursuit of 

illegitimate amours. I saw that my work had been interfered with, 

and that I was in debt, owing to the same cause. Yet I felt that 

I could never do without a woman. In this quandary I found myself 

thinking that marriage was the only salvation for me. Then I 

should always have a woman by me. I was sufficiently sensible to 

know that unless there were congenial tastes and sympathies, a 

marriage could not turn out happily, especially as my chief 

interests in life (after woman) were literature, history, and 

philosophy. But I imagined that if I could find a girl who would 

satisfy the condition of being an intellectual companion to me, 

all my troubles would be over; my sexual desire would be 

satisfied, and I could devote myself to work. 

 

"In this frame of mind I turned my thoughts more seriously in the 

direction of a girl whom I had known for some two years. Her age 

was nearly the same as mine. My family and hers were acquainted 

with one another. I had established a platonic friendship with 

her. Undoubtedly the prime attraction was that she was young and 

pretty. But she was also a girl of considerable character. 

Without being as well educated as I was, she was above the 

average girl in general intelligence. She was fond of reading; 

books formed our chief subject of conversation and common 

interest. She was, in fact, a girl of more intelligence than I 

had yet encountered. On her side, as I afterward discovered, the 

interest in me was less purely platonic. Our relations toward one 

another were absolutely correct. Yet we were intimate, informal, 

and talked on subjects that would be considered forbidden topics 

between two young persons by most people. I felt she was a true 

friend. She, too, confided to me her troubles. 

 

"We corresponded with one another frequently. Sometimes it 

occurred, to me that it was rather strange she should be so keen 

to write to me, to hear from me, and to see me; but I had never 

thought of her, consciously, except as a friend; I never for a 

moment imagined she thought of me except as an interesting and 

intelligent friend. Nor did the idea of illicit love ever suggest 

itself to me. She was one of those women whose face and 

expression put aside any such thought. I was, indeed, inclined to 

regard her as a good influence on me, but as passionless. I 

confided to her the affair of D.C., which took place during our 

acquaintance. She was distressed, but sympathetic and not 

prudish. I did not suspect the cause of her distress; I thought 

it was owing to her disappointment in the ideals she had formed 


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