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Table of contents
PREFACE
TOUCH-1
TOUCH-2
TOUCH-3 (begin)
TOUCH-3 (end)
TOUCH-4 (begin)
TOUCH-4 (end)
SMELL-1
SMELL-2
SMELL-3.1
SMELL-3.2
SMELL-3.3
SMELL-3.4
SMELL-3.5
SMELL-4 (begin)
SMELL-4 (end)
SMELL-5
HEARING-1
HEARING-2
HEARING-3
VISION-1.1
VISION-1.2
VISION-1.3
VISION-2.1
VISION-2.2
VISION-2.3
VISION-2.4
VISION-3
VISION-4
VISION-5
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B HISTORY-1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.2
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.3
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

found my voice trembling; I let my hand, as if by accident, touch 

hers; she did not withdraw it; and in a second I had kissed her. 

She did not resist. I took her on my knee, and tried to take 

liberties, which she resisted, and I desisted. 

 

"Next day I kissed her again, and put my hand inside her breasts. 

The same evening I took her to an exhibition. On the way home, in 

a hansom cab, I made her masturbate me. This was followed by a 

feeling of great relief, elation, and _pride_. 

 

"Next morning, when she came up to my bedroom to call me, I 

kissed and embraced her; she allowed me to take liberties, and, 

reassuring her by saying I would use a preventive, I had 

intercourse with her. She flinched somewhat. She then told me she 

was at her period and that she had never had intercourse with a 

man before. 

 

"During the next few weeks I found her an adept pupil, though 

always shy and undemonstrative. I took her to a hotel, and 

experienced the intensest pleasure I had ever had in undressing 

her. I had lately heard about _cunnilingus_. I now did it to her. 

I soon found I experienced very great pleasure in this, as did 

she. (I had attempted it with my wife, but found it disgusted 

me.) I also had intercourse _per anum_. (This again was an act I 

had heard about, but had never been able to regard as 

pleasurable. But books I had been reading stated it was most 

pleasant both to man and woman.) She resisted at first, finding 

it hurt her much; it excited me greatly; and when I had done it 

in this way several times she herself seemed to like it, 

especially if I kept my hand on her clitoris at the same time. 

 

"My relations with the housemaid, with whom I cannot pretend that 

I was in love, were only put an end to by satiety, and when I 

went away for my holidays I was utterly exhausted. This was, 

however, only the first of a series of relationships, at least 

one of which deeply stirred my emotional nature. These 

experiences, however, it is unnecessary to detail. There have 

also been occasional homosexual episodes. 

 

"I think I am now in a much healthier condition than I have been 

for some years. (I assume that it is _not_ healthy for all one's 

thoughts to be always occupied on sexual subjects.) The 

conclusion I come to is that I can live a normal, healthy life, 

devoting my thoughts to my work, and finding pleasure in 

friendship, in my children, in reading, and in other sources of 

amusement, as long as I can have occasional relations with a 

young girl--i.e., about once a week. But if this outlet for my 

sexual emotions is stopped sexual thoughts obsess my brain; I 

become both useless and miserable. 

 

"I have never regretted my marriage. Not only do I feel that life 

without a wife and home and children would be miserable, but I 


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