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Table of contents
PREFACE
TOUCH-1
TOUCH-2
TOUCH-3 (begin)
TOUCH-3 (end)
TOUCH-4 (begin)
TOUCH-4 (end)
SMELL-1
SMELL-2
SMELL-3.1
SMELL-3.2
SMELL-3.3
SMELL-3.4
SMELL-3.5
SMELL-4 (begin)
SMELL-4 (end)
SMELL-5
HEARING-1
HEARING-2
HEARING-3
VISION-1.1
VISION-1.2
VISION-1.3
VISION-2.1
VISION-2.2
VISION-2.3
VISION-2.4
VISION-3
VISION-4
VISION-5
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B HISTORY-1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.2
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.3
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

should take a boat and sail out in the bay for a day or two. The 

sea, the change, the open air revived me, and I even made 

sketches of the black sailor as he steered the boat. One day when 

I was left alone in charge of the boat, as I felt the time 

hanging on my hands, for the sea, the blue sky, the lovely day 

gave me no real pleasure, I remember abusing myself, the old 

habit reasserting itself as soon as I was alone and idle. When 

T.D. came back he brought Mrs. D. with him, laughing and jolly as 

usual. She was surprised when lying next to me under the deck on 

our return I did not respond to her advances. It would have 

pleased her, with her husband only a few feet away. After that I 

spent a night with her, but she was getting tired of me. I did 

not care for her, but it hurt my vanity and I made a few attempts 

to be impertinent. She looked at me coldly and threatened to 

complain to T.... 

 

"I want to relate an impression I received one night about this 

time when with several friends we called at a brothel. I forget 

my companion, but I remember two faces. It was winter, and great 

depression prevailed in Adelaide. We had been talking to the 

mistress as we drank some beer and were pretending to be jolly 

fellows, although we were wet, cold, and had not enjoyed 

ourselves (at least, I had not), and she was speaking harshly and 

jeeringly about two girls she had now who had not earned a penny 

for the past week. Just then we heard footsteps and she said in a 

lower tone: 'Here they are,' They came in, unattended, having 

ascertained which the brothel-keeper snorted and turned her back 

to them. The faces of the girls, who were quite young, looked so 

miserable that even I pitied them. The look on the face of one of 

those girls as she stood by the hearth drawing off her gloves 

lives in my memory. Too deep for tears was its sorrow, shame, and 

hopelessness.... 

 

"I had given up drink and was living in the bush. To anyone with 

normal nerves it would have been a happy time of quiet, rustic 

peace, beauty, and relief from city life. With me it was restless 

vanity amounting to madness. In every relation, action, or 

possible event in which I figured or might figure in the future, 

I always instantaneously called up an imaginary audience. And 

then this imaginary audience admired everything I did or might 

do, and put the most heroic, gallant, and romantic construction 

on my acts, appearance, lineage, and breeding. Suppose I saw a 

pretty girl on a bush road. Instead of thinking 'There is a 

pretty girl; I should like to know her or kiss her,' as I suppose 

a healthy, normal young man would think, I thought after this 

fashion: 'There is a pretty girl; now, as I pass her she will 

think I am a handsome and aristocratic-looking stranger, and, as 

I carry a sketch-book, an artist--"A landscape painter! How 


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