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Table of contents
PREFACE
TOUCH-1
TOUCH-2
TOUCH-3 (begin)
TOUCH-3 (end)
TOUCH-4 (begin)
TOUCH-4 (end)
SMELL-1
SMELL-2
SMELL-3.1
SMELL-3.2
SMELL-3.3
SMELL-3.4
SMELL-3.5
SMELL-4 (begin)
SMELL-4 (end)
SMELL-5
HEARING-1
HEARING-2
HEARING-3
VISION-1.1
VISION-1.2
VISION-1.3
VISION-2.1
VISION-2.2
VISION-2.3
VISION-2.4
VISION-3
VISION-4
VISION-5
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B HISTORY-1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.2
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2.3
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

romantic!" she will say, and then she will fall in love with me,' 

etc. This preoccupation with what other people might think or 

would think so engrossed all my time that I had no means of 

enjoying the presence, thought, or favor of the divine creatures 

I met, and I must have appeared 'cracked' to them with my 

reticence, pride, and silly airs. 

 

"I met girls as foolish as myself sometimes. Once at a _table 

d'hote_ I met a young girl who went for a walk with me and let me 

know her carnally although she was little more than a schoolgirl. 

She was going down to town soon, she said, and would meet me at a 

certain hotel (belonging to relations of hers) in Adelaide on a 

certain date, some time ahead; if I took a room there she would 

come into it during the night. In the meanwhile I had given way 

to drink again and abused myself at intervals. I came down to 

town, drunk, in the coach, and kept my appointment with the young 

girl at the hotel, expecting a night of pleasure; but she merely 

stared at me coldly as if she had never seen me before. I abused 

myself twice in my solitary room.... 

 

"I met a middle-aged schoolteacher (who had once been an officer 

in the army) down for his holidays. As he spoke well, and was a 

'gentleman,' I cultivated him. One night he asked me to meet a 

girl he had an appointment with and tell her he was not well 

enough to meet her. He foolishly told me the purpose of their 

intended meeting. I went to the trysting-place, at the back of 

the hotel, and met the girl. On delivering my message she smiled, 

made some joke about her friend, and looked at me as much as to 

say: 'You will do as well.' I had been drinking, and in the most 

brutal manner I took her into a closet. By some strange chance or 

state of nerves she gave me exquisite pleasure, but the orgasm 

came with me before it did with her, and in spite of her 

disappointment and protests I stood up and pulled her out of the 

place for fear some one should find us there. Still protesting 

she followed me, but her foot slipped on the paved court, and she 

fell down on her face. When she rose I saw that her front teeth 

were broken. I looked at her without pity, with impatience, and 

abruptly leaving her I went into the hotel to 'the colonel.' I 

commenced to tell him lies, when he asked me with a weak laugh 

what had been keeping me. I smiled with low cunning and drunken 

vanity, evading the question. Then he accused me directly. I only 

laughed; but, drunk as I was, I remember the look of the ageing 

bachelor as he saw he had been betrayed by a younger man. He had 

known her for years.... 

 

"I was now living in the home of a woman who was separated from 

her husband and kept lodgers. She had a daughter, with whom I 

walked out, a pretty girl who drank like a fish, as her mother 


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